Facing Mortality

What do you say to your five year old when his great- grandfather is very sick and dying? How do you confront this?

In April, we went through the whole 'funeral and death' talk when a distant family member passed away. He believes that angels come down from heaven and guide people up to heaven when they die, and that funerals are our way of saying goodbye.

But this is a tough one- in April, he was removed from death. It wasn't someone close to him- it was someone else's grandma, someone else's mommy. Now- it is his grandfather, someone who a week and a half ago was promising Cody a ride on his motorcycle if he was a good boy.

One stroke- and all that has changed. Grandpa doesn't talk. He can't move. He can't even open his eyes anymore. We don't know when he's awake, we don't know if he can hear us. He looks somewhat ok- just sleeping. And perhaps that is what is so terrifying about this. It's so easy to say 'he's ok, he's sleeping, he's fine,' even when you know the truth. He's not fine. There is no recovery from this.

We took the boys to see him yesterday, his 68th birthday. Right now, I'm comforted by the fact that he probably knew that they were there- he always enjoyed spending time with them. He got to hear about Cody's first time playing real golf. He got to hear them say 'I love you, Grampa'.

I wanted to do a layout to go with this entry- but I can't find the right picture for it. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week.

Edited to add:

I talked to my mom since writing this. He's running a fever now. The doctors think that he will probably catch pnuemonia- and if he does, he will probably die from that. It's horrible to think about- we all feel like our hands are tied. He does not want to live like this. He doesn't want to live in a nursing home, unable to care for himself.

The doctors moved him to another room on the same floor- he'd probably be better off upstairs, and Mom thinks that they kept him on the same floor for the family's sake.

Quality, Newbies, Insulting Designers

And today's buzz word is... QUALITY.

Quality can be subjective. There are many kits out there that I do not find appealing- I do not think that they are up to my standards. They are too 'cutesy', too 'cartoony' for my tastes. That doesn't necessarily mean that they are 'low quality'- just that they aren't up to my 'quality standards'.

When a group of people is discussing quality- they should leave off the comments about resolution (unless something is drastically low, resolution wise- 150ppi instead of 200-300ppi) and comments about 'cutesy' and 'cartoony'. These days, resolution that falls within the 200-300 range isn't a quality issue- more of a user preferance. Same with cutesy and cartoony- some people enjoy the cutesy, cartoony style. What they should stick to are craftsmenship- how well something was made. If the texture sharp- not blurry or distorted? Are there stray pixels? Jagged edges? When discussing quality, people should be aware that what they don't care for isn't a quality issue. The fact that it keeps coming up just shows me that there are many who are dismissing designers who do not fit their style as 'low quality'.

One of the emails that I read today addressed the issue with newbies (ok, a few of them did). I love this- it's a conundrum. I have to wonder how many designers made the decision to sell because someone, somewhere, told them that they were 'great' and that they 'should sell their kits'. The decision to become a designer should have more to do with the designer and less to do with the reactions of friends and family. The market is so saturated with designers- many of them average- that it's hard for the truly amazing designers to get a good start. I think that the only way to combat this problem is for store owners to be more selective in who they allow to sell through them. The designers are the store's face- they are what a store's reputation is builty upon.

Finally- I'm appalled at the number of people who will not give a designer a second chance- or even a chance to fix a mistake- because they are afraid of insulting the designer. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO COMPLAIN. You are not insulting the designer (unless your email to them is full of four letter words that you wouldn't repeat in the presence of your grandmother- please, people, think before you hit send!)- you are offering them the chance to correct a mistake, and in the process, IMPROVE. What really truly gets me is the number of people who make this judgement based on one kit or one freebie- they see something that they deem as 'low quality' (and how often is this truly a quality issue? How often is it really a 'style mismatch'?), so they refuse to go out and purchase or download another kit by that designer. In my eyes- that just isn't right. Instead of giving that designer a chance to improve- they are condemning them.

Oftentime in real life, we do not automatically condemn a store because we had ONE bad experience with that store. We say to ourselves 'that cashier was having a bad day', 'they were probably short staffed', or any one of the hundreds of reasons that we come up with to explain away a bad experience. If it happens again- we might complain, or we might explain it away again. When we complain, we look to see how our complaint is taken (is the manager listening? is he making up excuses? is he being polite? is he offering something to us to make up for our bad experience?)- we are guaging his customer service level. We are more likely to go back and shop at that store- even with all the problems that we've had in the past- if the manager gives great customer service. We will go back and try them again. We typically have to experience some sort of problem with a store before we decide that we won't shop there again. We give these places second- and often much more than that- chances. Why are we so quick to condemn a digital designer?

We shouldn't. Plain and simple. Give the digital designer the same chance that you would a brick and mortar store.

It's All About Me, Baby

page kit by Holly McCaig

I'm working on a new 'theme'- favorite stuff! I have pictures of my favorite jeans (see above), and pictures of my favorite shoes, and pictures of my favorite beverages (unfortunately, the pictures of my favorite beverages didn't turn out- I need new batteries in my camera). I plan on taking more pictures- favorite places, favorite books, things like that. I have these kits that are perfect for me- but not so perfect for layouts of my boys. It's time that I spent some more time scrapping about myself.

I think that I'm going to make this an album- and eventually I'll print it out and actually put it in one.

I spent four hours (FOUR HOURS) yesterday working on a vacation mini album for my mother in law. She's going to Jamaica soon, and I thought that she'd like to have it. We'll put the pictures in it when she gets back (hopefully with my cabana boy in tow- I've already told her to get a cabana boy and have him serve her margaritas for me, maybe she'll surprise me and bring one back). I found a use for those paper supplies that Memory Maker's sent me. The album turned out great, and hopefully I'll be able to get pictures of it when she gets back. But- back to the four hours. I was silly. I should have used the space that I have set up up stairs for scrapping to complete the album instead of sitting on the living room floor. By the time I was done, my back hurt so bad! It was still sore this morning. Note to self: under no circumstances should I scrap while sitting on the living room floor.

I noticed last night that I need a new exacto knife. Mine is crap. The only blade that I have is broken, *and* someone (coughcoughMIKEcoughcough) was messing with it and the thingy that holds the blade in no longer holds the blade in. Oh- and a paper cutter would be nice too.