Midnight

I'm contemplating a quiet house. I can hear the fish tank bubbling behind me, the hum of my computer, the buzzer on the dryer as it stops, Mike's occassional cough as he browses websites. The boys are sleeping, and I'm sitting here contemplating.

Four years ago, on this very night, I was packing my bag for the hospital. We had to get up early- I was being induced at 7 that morning. Dylan Thomas entered the world at 504pm, weighing 6lbs, 4oz. Today- he's a thriving four year old.

So- I've collected and interesting bunch of Dylan stories that I'm going to share.

First up- The Infamous Printer Story And How Dylan Got Locked In The Car Three Years Later. Yeah, that's an old blog of mine. And yes, I still deal with printer jokes on a regular basis.

Dylan has a slight speech delay. I'm the one that has to translate for him, because unless you've spent a lot of time around him, you can't understand a word that he's saying. Last Christmas, Mike made buckeyes- these really good peanut butter and chocolate candies that will add ten pounds just by looking at them. While Mike was making them, Dylan asked me if he was making 'buh heads'. I thought that it was funny- Dylan wanted to know if Daddy was making butt heads. So I sent him in there to ask Mike. He asked Mike. Mike told him that he was. So now- we have butt heads at Christmas and not buckeyes.

This is a new one- on Saturday, I was out at my parents', washing clothes. Mom and I are sitting at the table, talking. Dylan comes over to get some cookies from me. Dad walks into the room, leans down and says 'Tell Grandma that you're a boy and you pee standing up.' Dylan giggles, looks at me, looks at Grandpa, looks at Grandma. I tell him to go ahead and say it. He giggles some more and gets this evil look in his eye. I should have known what was coming, but I didn't.
Dylan looks at Grandma and says 'Grandpa says I a boy and he's a duh ass.' Translation: 'Grandpa says that I'm a boy and that he's a dumb ass.' I about fall out of my chair laughing, my mom- who didn't understand what he says 'you are? That's great!' I continue to laugh hysterically. Dad puffs out his chest and says 'Yes, you're a big boy and you pee standing up!' I'm still laughing. My parents are looking at me funny. It took me a few minutes, but finally, I was able to spit out, between giggles, that he did not say that. They ask what he said- and I told them that he called Dad a dumb ass. (in my best Conan voice: I'm gonna go to hell when I die). Yeah, great mommy moment there, especially when I had a hard time keeping from laughing when I tried to explain to him that we don't call our grandparents dumb asses.

Shortly after Dylan finally potty trained, my parents installed a new toilet in our bathroom. Dylan now swears up and down that this is HIS POTTY and he got is because he's a big boy. I hadn't heard much about it being his potty for a few weeks, until the other night. Mike's friend Ed had stopped by, and Dylan decided that he just had to show Ed his new potty. I'm watching TV in the living room, and hear from the bathroom: 'See! My potty!' 'Cool!' 'Wanna see me pee in it?' 'Uh, no, dude, you can pee by yourself.' Poor Ed.

Life with Dylan is pretty interesting. It can be trying at times (his favorite phrase lately is 'I no like you, Mommy' and usually comes when I tell him that he can't have a sucker, or he has to go to bed), but it's worth it when he decides that he needs a hug and a kiss. I take them while I can get them.