Facing Mortality

What do you say to your five year old when his great- grandfather is very sick and dying? How do you confront this?

In April, we went through the whole 'funeral and death' talk when a distant family member passed away. He believes that angels come down from heaven and guide people up to heaven when they die, and that funerals are our way of saying goodbye.

But this is a tough one- in April, he was removed from death. It wasn't someone close to him- it was someone else's grandma, someone else's mommy. Now- it is his grandfather, someone who a week and a half ago was promising Cody a ride on his motorcycle if he was a good boy.

One stroke- and all that has changed. Grandpa doesn't talk. He can't move. He can't even open his eyes anymore. We don't know when he's awake, we don't know if he can hear us. He looks somewhat ok- just sleeping. And perhaps that is what is so terrifying about this. It's so easy to say 'he's ok, he's sleeping, he's fine,' even when you know the truth. He's not fine. There is no recovery from this.

We took the boys to see him yesterday, his 68th birthday. Right now, I'm comforted by the fact that he probably knew that they were there- he always enjoyed spending time with them. He got to hear about Cody's first time playing real golf. He got to hear them say 'I love you, Grampa'.

I wanted to do a layout to go with this entry- but I can't find the right picture for it. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week.

Edited to add:

I talked to my mom since writing this. He's running a fever now. The doctors think that he will probably catch pnuemonia- and if he does, he will probably die from that. It's horrible to think about- we all feel like our hands are tied. He does not want to live like this. He doesn't want to live in a nursing home, unable to care for himself.

The doctors moved him to another room on the same floor- he'd probably be better off upstairs, and Mom thinks that they kept him on the same floor for the family's sake.